Sunday, September 4, 2011

The evil opposite of evil is actually quite nice

This morning I did something that I have not done for months.  I rode my horse.

So, let's see.. I last rode in June, I think.  Therefore today's ride cost me over $700 for board, farrier, worming, treats, and etc.  If you ride irregularly the amortization gets really ugly.  I'm going to stop thinking about it now.

When I took my car to the garage on Thursday I wasn't thinking about Sunday, and so I didn't retrieve my gear from the back.  This morning I was in need of riding gloves, horse treats, wormer, and riding boots (with a heel, an important safety feature.  Hiking boots would not do.)  I picked up everything but boots at the feed store before going to the farm.  Luckily Tara keeps a spare pair of paddock boots in her trailer.  Otherwise I would have had to ride with no stirrups.  I don't see my first ride in months as coinciding well with a lack of stirrups.

Pluto doesn't recognize Rabies as one of my vehicles.  He didn't even look up as I drove by.  Eventually he noticed me fetching tack out of the barn, though, and he walked up to the fence.  When I went to get him we did our usual dance.  He came up to me for a pat and a treat, then stepped out of reach when I offered up his halter.  I turned away from him and pretended to ignore him while I inspected the scenery.  After a moment I peeked over my shoulder and caught him looking back at me over his own shoulder.  Then he walked up and let me put his halter on.

I'm pretty sure all the other horse / person pairs don't do it that way. Why would a horse want me to feign disinterest?  I've owned horses for decades and I still don't get them.

I had wondered if today would be a good day or a bad day.  There's Pluto on a normal day (somewhat naughty, will cooperate with sufficient prodding and cookies.)  There's Evil Pluto - won't cooperate AT ALL unless he perceives that temporary cooperation might give him an opportunity to knock me down and then run away.  And there's Otulp.  The angelic opposite of Evil Pluto.  Otulp is helpful, calm, and pleasant.  I don't see Otulp much.

Today was an Otulp day.  Despite our halter dance, Pluto calmly walked over to our grooming area, submitted to grooming with abnormally good grace (he is not a fan of the whole Barbie Horse phenomenon), and didn't even do the Saddle Dance.  Generally we take a few steps to the right and then a few steps to the left, and then we put our left foot in, and then we shake it all about, and then  I yell at him to STAND STILL DAMMIT so I can fasten the girth.  Today he just stood there like it's totally normal to have your saddle put on.  As if he hadn't just spent seven years practicing the Hokey Pokey.

Despite the Otulp face I put a chain on him, because I am not a trusting person.  Not that long ago he got away from me several times in one day, and I'm trying to prevent a recurrence.  Unfortunately, I don't use a chain much so I didn't put it on well.  At all.  First I doubled it up, and one section started drifting down to his nostril region as soon as we began walking.  He started squinching up his nose and shaking his head and generally trying to deal with the problem on his own.  I undoubled the chain but the squinching continued until I remembered that you have to wrap the chain around the noseband.  So, finally, he trained me to use the chain correctly and we were able to walk over to the arena.

Over at the arena I swapped the chain for reins and we walked over to the mounting block.  I asked him if he remembered the mounting deal.  I have no idea why I think the phrase "stand still as a statue" will resonate with my backyard horse.  I don't think he's ever seen a statue.  Never the less, that's what I say every time.  And every time he maneuvers himself away from the mounting block after I step up on it.  Once.  I step down, move the mounting block to his new location, and then step back up to mount with no problem.  It's part of our routine.  Not a *good* part, mind you.  I just don't know how to untrain it.

So, after the Mounting Block Dance and my step up into the saddle, he really does stand still like a statue.   This may be my favorite thing about him.  I hate hate hate it when horses move off as soon as you've gotten on.  I want time to get settled, sort out the reins, adjust my stirrups, and maybe take a cellphone call.  Still Like Statue horse is good for that.  He stays that way, too, until I offer him a cookie.  On the rare occasion that I have forgotten a cookie, he has looked very put upon and then moved off with a grumble.

That would be the problem with cookie training.  Nobody should have to suffer through put upon looks.

Does it bother you that I just spent half an hour giving you a detailed description of that process?  Because actually doing it may not have taken as long.  I am perhaps a tad long winded.

Long story short, he was good.

I'm pondering ways to keep riding interesting while limited to one gait.  I experimented a bit with riding only from my seat today.  When I first bought Pluto he didn't quite understand the whole "rein" thing and so I rode him from my seat and legs.  He has since adjusted quite well to reins, to the extent that he is dependent on them for cues.  My attempt to ride from seat was amusing but not incredibly effective.  I've determined that he will perform a credible halt upon the tightening of my abdominal muscles, but other than that I'm out of luck.  Steering is nearly non-existent.  On the rare occasion that he takes my cue and turns, he does so bent in the wrong direction.

So, we have something to work on.  Good.

Tara longed Timber and then rode a bit.  She suggested we play follow the leader, which we did until my back started to twinge.  I didn't wait for it to get worse, this time.  I called it a day right after the first pain.  So far, it looks as if that has saved me from a backache this evening.  Yay!  I like backache-free evenings.

I stopped for Chipotle on the way home, and then apparently several hours disappeared and it was dinner time. Weird.  Stupid Internet and its stupid interesting links.

I made a long to-do list on Friday night and I actually did several of the chores today.   Between that and riding my horse I feel like I've won some sort of personal lottery.  Now on the lookout for falling pianos and/or a whole new list of time sensitive chores suddenly making itself obvious.



No comments:

Post a Comment