Today was a lost, do-nothing day. It didn't start out that way. I had many plans. First, get up at 6. Meet DeLee at 7. Go hiking out at Rosaryville, then get cleaned up and head out to Annapolis Mall. Get some lunch, then buy clothes to wear to Alex's wedding. Drive home so DeLee could go to her evening engagement, then go to the movies to see the Avengers.
Only the first part happened. I got up at 6 and texted DeLee to make sure she was awake, then fed all the animals. I started to become aware that everything wasn't quite right as I was feeding them. I felt a little crampy. Hmm. Instead of a big breakfast I had a banana, water, and a cup of decaf. And started hurting more. I told DeLee I was going to have to cancel.
I sat there, wondering if I had the world's worst case of gas, and if I should go to the ER. Then I started wondering if maybe I should call an ambulance, as passing out from the pain was starting to seem like an option. My gut jabbed me with a vengeance. I hobbled into the living room and lay down in the recliner, as sitting upright was just too painful. And then the pain started to recede.
I went upstairs and went back to bed. 4-5 hours later I woke up. I still have a feeling of pressure, but I'm not having tremendous pain. My guess? (And I can only guess because I'm no doc, and neither can I see into my innards.) Ruptured ovarian cyst. Nothing to be done for it. After googling and pondering, I'm just grateful that it was over so quickly.
So. Unexercised. Still nothing to wear to the wedding. But on the up side, I didn't spend $3k today having an ER doctor tell me that I'd be fine. (I mean, I would have, if it hadn't started feeling better. But it didn't become necessary.)
You know who is isn't feeling all that great today? The Schnork. She didn't want any food this evening, and spent a couple of hours sleeping in the cats' heated bed. I feel for her.
While I was lazing around the house, I watched movie trailers. And I noticed the movie Albert Nobbs. I decided to rent it. It was cheaper than going out to the movies, at least. I'd say it's a pretty excellent film. It's a sad story, though. No happy ending for Albert.
I think it'll be an early night for me, assuming I can sleep after that long nap. And then in the morning, also assuming I feel better, off to the mall to look for clothing. Because that's not going to happen on its own.
Showing posts with label ow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ow. Show all posts
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
I swear to god I'm never doing that again. Again.
I cannot have caffeine. I know this. I know that I can have a little bit, once in a while. Say, real coffee every week or two. I know that if I have more than this, I become addicted and bad things start to happen. They happen subtly, at first. But eventually my body stops being subtle and tells me, very directly, that I have been bad.
I know this. I have been through this more than once. And yet, I keep going back to it. Do I feel invulnerable, once I've been away from it for a while? Do I forget? Am I just that stupid? Evidence points toward that last one.
I've had caffeinated beverages several times in the last few weeks. WELL over my limit. So, this morning, I acquired a migraine. And not the gentle, friendly migraines I've been having for the last few years. This was a full on feral migraine. It slapped me upside the head and called me names. It made the light too bright, the sounds too loud, and my stomach too unstable.
And those feral migraines are wily. It waited to strike until I had no migraine meds left at the office. I instead took advil and a cup of coffee, because when I do get the inevitable migraine, caffeine sometimes helps. And then I put on my sunglasses and my beach hat, and asked my office mates if we could turn off the lights.
When I got home I took my meds, and I'm gradually recovering. But the headache, like a hangover, is a reminder to me of things that I should not be doing.
I know this. I have been through this more than once. And yet, I keep going back to it. Do I feel invulnerable, once I've been away from it for a while? Do I forget? Am I just that stupid? Evidence points toward that last one.
I've had caffeinated beverages several times in the last few weeks. WELL over my limit. So, this morning, I acquired a migraine. And not the gentle, friendly migraines I've been having for the last few years. This was a full on feral migraine. It slapped me upside the head and called me names. It made the light too bright, the sounds too loud, and my stomach too unstable.
And those feral migraines are wily. It waited to strike until I had no migraine meds left at the office. I instead took advil and a cup of coffee, because when I do get the inevitable migraine, caffeine sometimes helps. And then I put on my sunglasses and my beach hat, and asked my office mates if we could turn off the lights.
When I got home I took my meds, and I'm gradually recovering. But the headache, like a hangover, is a reminder to me of things that I should not be doing.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I'm just going to go to bed and pretend nothing exists
My old pal, degenerative disk disease, reared his ugly head today. I'm moving carefully and wincing (and probably making noises) whenever the pain shoots down. I hope it settles down by the weekend, when I'm hoping to do a fair bit of mileage on the AT. Or, lay on the sofa watching documentaries. I guess.
Stupid spine.
Stupid spine.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Feeling sorry for myself kept me really busy
You may have noticed that I was missing yesterday. I had a bad evening. I went to yoga and everything started to hurt. I left midway through (I NEVER leave midway through) and sniffled on the drive home. And felt sorry for myself. And then felt even more sorry for myself when I couldn't fall asleep because my sacroiliac hurt too much.
This morning at PT I asked for reassurance that it was normal to have increased pain. She said yes. She said that it would go away again. That was all I needed to hear. I did today's exercises with more determination than ever. If all it takes is perseverance, I got that. If it takes grace, or some kind of athletic ability, I'm out of luck. But I can keep on keeping on with the best of them.
In the last few days I've been reading up on carbohydrates, trying to figure out what's what. It's confusing.
Per my doctor(s), I'm pre-diabetic. I would like to be completely non-diabetic. One of the things involved is losing weight. And a low fat, high carbohydrate diet just isn't doing it anymore. I track my food using www.sparkpeople.com (and have for years.) I know how much I'm eating. I know how much I exercise (lots.) I know in theory how much I should be losing. And it doesn't happen.
So, one camp says that I'm insulin resistant, and I need to get the majority of my calories from foods that aren't in the realm of insulin. I.e., fats and proteins. Which, okay, kinda makes sense. But then there's the polar opposite camp which says that carbohydrates are essential, and it's not healthy to eat so much fat and protein, and they also make sense. Everybody sounds so reasonable! If you read their arguments, they all seem sort of logical. But they can't both be completely right.
The Mayo Clinic says the type of diet doesn't matter as much as your ability to follow it. Which my experience has proved wrong, at least for me.
I will say that when I follow the Sparkpeople guidelines on ratios of carbohydrates to fat to protein, it's pretty easy to fit in quite a bit of fairly unhealthy food. In the counter, at least, they don't distinguish between sugars vs other carbohydrates.
A lower carbohydrate diet forces me to lean heavily on vegetables and unprocessed foods, which is a good thing. I "can't" use very many sugar free products, because I don't wish to use artificial sweeteners. I wouldn't mind stevia sweetened foods, but those have not hit the grocery shelves in any great numbers yet.
It would be easy to get too many "bad" fats on a low carb diet, and I need to start paying attention to that. (Hi mother with heart disease!) I don't want my wakeup call to be in the form of an ambulance ride to the ER.
Anyway, I'm reading a lot, and generally eating a lot more vegetables and berries, and a lot less in the way of grains, starchy veggies, bananas, and dried fruit. Ironically, I'm having a hard time getting as much fiber as on a low fat diet. My regular morning cereal had a *ton* of the stuff. And gobs of protein.
I don't think I'm eating at a level that anybody would consider "low carb" just yet, but I'm feeling good about what I'm eating.
JD had just stocked up on a bunch of stuff before I whimsically decided I wasn't eating that way anymore (at least for a while.) And I'm still confused about what's what - I brought home a bunch of brussels sprouts tonight, not having noticed that they're a higher carbohydrate vegetable. We're going to be freezing or wasting some food in the near future, looks like. Either that or JD is going to have to run a LOT so he can afford to eat it all.
This morning at PT I asked for reassurance that it was normal to have increased pain. She said yes. She said that it would go away again. That was all I needed to hear. I did today's exercises with more determination than ever. If all it takes is perseverance, I got that. If it takes grace, or some kind of athletic ability, I'm out of luck. But I can keep on keeping on with the best of them.
In the last few days I've been reading up on carbohydrates, trying to figure out what's what. It's confusing.
Per my doctor(s), I'm pre-diabetic. I would like to be completely non-diabetic. One of the things involved is losing weight. And a low fat, high carbohydrate diet just isn't doing it anymore. I track my food using www.sparkpeople.com (and have for years.) I know how much I'm eating. I know how much I exercise (lots.) I know in theory how much I should be losing. And it doesn't happen.
So, one camp says that I'm insulin resistant, and I need to get the majority of my calories from foods that aren't in the realm of insulin. I.e., fats and proteins. Which, okay, kinda makes sense. But then there's the polar opposite camp which says that carbohydrates are essential, and it's not healthy to eat so much fat and protein, and they also make sense. Everybody sounds so reasonable! If you read their arguments, they all seem sort of logical. But they can't both be completely right.
The Mayo Clinic says the type of diet doesn't matter as much as your ability to follow it. Which my experience has proved wrong, at least for me.
I will say that when I follow the Sparkpeople guidelines on ratios of carbohydrates to fat to protein, it's pretty easy to fit in quite a bit of fairly unhealthy food. In the counter, at least, they don't distinguish between sugars vs other carbohydrates.
A lower carbohydrate diet forces me to lean heavily on vegetables and unprocessed foods, which is a good thing. I "can't" use very many sugar free products, because I don't wish to use artificial sweeteners. I wouldn't mind stevia sweetened foods, but those have not hit the grocery shelves in any great numbers yet.
It would be easy to get too many "bad" fats on a low carb diet, and I need to start paying attention to that. (Hi mother with heart disease!) I don't want my wakeup call to be in the form of an ambulance ride to the ER.
Anyway, I'm reading a lot, and generally eating a lot more vegetables and berries, and a lot less in the way of grains, starchy veggies, bananas, and dried fruit. Ironically, I'm having a hard time getting as much fiber as on a low fat diet. My regular morning cereal had a *ton* of the stuff. And gobs of protein.
I don't think I'm eating at a level that anybody would consider "low carb" just yet, but I'm feeling good about what I'm eating.
JD had just stocked up on a bunch of stuff before I whimsically decided I wasn't eating that way anymore (at least for a while.) And I'm still confused about what's what - I brought home a bunch of brussels sprouts tonight, not having noticed that they're a higher carbohydrate vegetable. We're going to be freezing or wasting some food in the near future, looks like. Either that or JD is going to have to run a LOT so he can afford to eat it all.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The hiker hobble is a wee bit excessive
In an attempt to get back to my regularly scheduled life, I met up with DeLee this weekend and we went for our regular walk in the park. Both of us found it more strenuous than usual, and it took us longer than usual. The lunch afterward, however, was completely normal.
Although, normally when you go out to lunch the cashier doesn't exclaim "Where you been?!" because you haven't been there for a month. And the waiter doesn't ask where your husband is. Probably the waiter doesn't look knowing when you say "Have you heard of DragonCon?" Also, the waiter probably isn't shocked that you want a regular drink rather than diet.
I'm trying to remember how long I've been going to that restaurant. 12 years? It kinda shows. They never said a word over the years as I brought in a succession of men. About the men, that is. I bet they wondered, though. They noticed when JD and I got engaged, and then when we got married. They're probably waiting for me to show up with a swollen belly. (Ain't gonna happen.) I've observed their pregnancies, and then their babies, who turned into children, who are kind of tall by now. I like it. I like the continuity of a neighborhood restaurant, where they remember you and care what happens to you. They've been there for my dates, my breakups, my illnesses, my own little tragedies and celebrations. I worry about them and how their business does when the economy is down. If they closed it would leave an unreasonably large hole in my life.
Anyway. This post is not about that restaurant.
Before I got off track on food (it's a hiker thing) I was talking about how the hiking was harder than usual. I still feel kind of tired and sore from my vacation, I think. Dang that was a tough hike. It's going to take me some time to bounce back. I don't know what I'd do if I were thruhiking. You don't have weeks of bounce back time on a thruhike.
I wonder how I would have felt, physically, had I had time to complete my thruhike last year. I felt great in Vermont.. maybe not so much by the time I finished New Hampshire and Maine?
Shoot, I just poked my left knee with a finger and it hurt when I touched it. I don't think I've ever had this level of post hike soreness before when I haven't actually sprained / strained / broken something. It makes me feel decrepit. One lousy month of hiking and I'm gimping around. I didn't have any particular falls or incidents that would have given me traumatic injuries, but I think the sustained effort of big steps up and down has taken a toll on my knees and ankles. If they're not feeling less ouchy in a week or so I guess I'll have to go talk to my doctor and admit I did the crazy long distance hiking thing again, and get her to help me. I hate doing that. She keeps suggesting that I take up easier hobbies.
Plus there's the fact that I'm not overflowing with energy. I really should be, by now. Instead I'm sitting on my arse (after a 3 hour morning hike, admittedly) instead of cleaning out the fridge, which dearly needs it.
Perhaps I will clean the fridge out tomorrow.
Or perhaps I will nap.
Although, normally when you go out to lunch the cashier doesn't exclaim "Where you been?!" because you haven't been there for a month. And the waiter doesn't ask where your husband is. Probably the waiter doesn't look knowing when you say "Have you heard of DragonCon?" Also, the waiter probably isn't shocked that you want a regular drink rather than diet.
I'm trying to remember how long I've been going to that restaurant. 12 years? It kinda shows. They never said a word over the years as I brought in a succession of men. About the men, that is. I bet they wondered, though. They noticed when JD and I got engaged, and then when we got married. They're probably waiting for me to show up with a swollen belly. (Ain't gonna happen.) I've observed their pregnancies, and then their babies, who turned into children, who are kind of tall by now. I like it. I like the continuity of a neighborhood restaurant, where they remember you and care what happens to you. They've been there for my dates, my breakups, my illnesses, my own little tragedies and celebrations. I worry about them and how their business does when the economy is down. If they closed it would leave an unreasonably large hole in my life.
Anyway. This post is not about that restaurant.
Before I got off track on food (it's a hiker thing) I was talking about how the hiking was harder than usual. I still feel kind of tired and sore from my vacation, I think. Dang that was a tough hike. It's going to take me some time to bounce back. I don't know what I'd do if I were thruhiking. You don't have weeks of bounce back time on a thruhike.
I wonder how I would have felt, physically, had I had time to complete my thruhike last year. I felt great in Vermont.. maybe not so much by the time I finished New Hampshire and Maine?
Shoot, I just poked my left knee with a finger and it hurt when I touched it. I don't think I've ever had this level of post hike soreness before when I haven't actually sprained / strained / broken something. It makes me feel decrepit. One lousy month of hiking and I'm gimping around. I didn't have any particular falls or incidents that would have given me traumatic injuries, but I think the sustained effort of big steps up and down has taken a toll on my knees and ankles. If they're not feeling less ouchy in a week or so I guess I'll have to go talk to my doctor and admit I did the crazy long distance hiking thing again, and get her to help me. I hate doing that. She keeps suggesting that I take up easier hobbies.
Plus there's the fact that I'm not overflowing with energy. I really should be, by now. Instead I'm sitting on my arse (after a 3 hour morning hike, admittedly) instead of cleaning out the fridge, which dearly needs it.
Perhaps I will clean the fridge out tomorrow.
Or perhaps I will nap.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Nazca is a giant unathletic dork
As of right now, I'm just under three weeks from leaving here for Maine. Also a little less than twelve hours from my neurological appointment, where I hope they don't try to tell me not to go to Maine. Because that is not going to fly well with me.
Saturday I'm going to have another go at the Billy Goat Trail. Not that I tried it and failed last time. My air conditioning failed. And it poured. And then I slept in and also got sick. So, more of an attempt to actually leave the house this time.
Tomorrow after work I'll get all my gear ready so all I have to do is head out the door in the morning. I need to load up the backpack some, and I guess wash some clothing.. what with the heat in the house for the last week, I've been holding off on doing anything that would make it warmer in here.
Also I will be hoping that this doesn't get infected:
Nazca tried to jump up on my lap this morning. He is not the cleverest or most agile of kitties. I have much smaller punctures in my thigh, where he realized he hadn't.. quite.. gotten all of himself up onto my lap. Had I known he was incoming I would have helped, but I was quite surprised. Instead, I shrieked as he slowly slid backwards off my lap, trying to use his hind legs on my calf to push himself back up. Unfortunately for both of us, my skin doesn't have the holding power of, say, upholstery.
My day didn't really start well. Wish me better luck for tomorrow. I only have so much skin left.
Saturday I'm going to have another go at the Billy Goat Trail. Not that I tried it and failed last time. My air conditioning failed. And it poured. And then I slept in and also got sick. So, more of an attempt to actually leave the house this time.
Tomorrow after work I'll get all my gear ready so all I have to do is head out the door in the morning. I need to load up the backpack some, and I guess wash some clothing.. what with the heat in the house for the last week, I've been holding off on doing anything that would make it warmer in here.
Also I will be hoping that this doesn't get infected:
 |
| Ow |
My day didn't really start well. Wish me better luck for tomorrow. I only have so much skin left.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
At least I can still walk
Oh, internet. I am so unhappy today.
I went to the chiropractor's office this morning. I had the x rays, she had the written report. The written report is not good. I have "advanced lumbosacral junction degenerative change". Two years ago I had a abdominal scan done for other reasons, but they mentioned my spine anyway. At the time I had "mild degenerative disk disease". I went from mild to advanced in two years.
The joint in question is so filled in with bone that when I looked at it, I thought it was part of the sacrum. I didn't recognize the vertebra as a separate entity. Not that I'm the expert on x rays.
Doc says no running, which makes me sad because I really liked running. But she also says no riding and that is beyond sad. I have been riding for 38 years. Sometimes I rode for a living. I rode 8 hours a day, and fed and doctored horses in between. I loved dressage, and bought myself a Lipizzan cross so that I could practice my dressage on the very best dressage horse out there. And my dressage horse had finally grown up and started being mature about things. And it was good.
Except for the part where it started hurting. Had I realized that my back was in the middle of self destructing, I would not have upped the riding and running regimen. But I had no idea.
I'm not even supposed to get a massage right now, because "that knot might be what's holding you together." When all you have going for you is a back spasm, you don't have very much going for you.
The doctor would not commit one way or the other on backpacking. She wanted to see the results of an MRI first. But I can say for sure that I feel my best when standing and walking, so I have some hope there. And, I'm planning on going backpacking as planned this weekend. Just a short hike, on decent terrain. And I'll be ultralight because JD is bringing a tent for both of us. :)
I went to the chiropractor's office this morning. I had the x rays, she had the written report. The written report is not good. I have "advanced lumbosacral junction degenerative change". Two years ago I had a abdominal scan done for other reasons, but they mentioned my spine anyway. At the time I had "mild degenerative disk disease". I went from mild to advanced in two years.
The joint in question is so filled in with bone that when I looked at it, I thought it was part of the sacrum. I didn't recognize the vertebra as a separate entity. Not that I'm the expert on x rays.
Doc says no running, which makes me sad because I really liked running. But she also says no riding and that is beyond sad. I have been riding for 38 years. Sometimes I rode for a living. I rode 8 hours a day, and fed and doctored horses in between. I loved dressage, and bought myself a Lipizzan cross so that I could practice my dressage on the very best dressage horse out there. And my dressage horse had finally grown up and started being mature about things. And it was good.
Except for the part where it started hurting. Had I realized that my back was in the middle of self destructing, I would not have upped the riding and running regimen. But I had no idea.
I'm not even supposed to get a massage right now, because "that knot might be what's holding you together." When all you have going for you is a back spasm, you don't have very much going for you.
The doctor would not commit one way or the other on backpacking. She wanted to see the results of an MRI first. But I can say for sure that I feel my best when standing and walking, so I have some hope there. And, I'm planning on going backpacking as planned this weekend. Just a short hike, on decent terrain. And I'll be ultralight because JD is bringing a tent for both of us. :)
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