Friday, August 17, 2012

I can't recommend it, but it worked for me

I feel the best today that I've felt in ages.  I attribute this to my diet.  Normally, I start my day with a high fiber, hi protein cereal and a banana.  I have four prunes and several almonds for a mid morning snack.  Lunch is a large salad with nuts, beans, and cottage cheese, or more recently cooked veggies and some turkey breast, as raw veg seems to make things worse.  Mid afternoon snack of string cheese and fruit, then a light dinner (well, a small portion of whatever JD is eating) with water, bubbled and then sweetened with a little stevia.

Today, I had a slice of leftover pizza and a piece of dark chocolate for breakfast.  George brought treats from Greece, so I ate too many mini chocolate bars.  Lunch was at Marathon deli - veggie gyros, greek fries, and full sugar birch beer.  Dinner so far has been wine and tacos.  And more chocolate.

And I'm not swollen up like a balloon, and my insides don't hurt like daggers.

Apparently, healthy living is bad for me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

State of the Schnork, August 2012

It's been a while since we've had a Schnork update.  I must say, the Schnork is starting to shape up.  Once we pulled up everything resembling a carpet and layered the house with wee pads, we had no more accidents.  Except that one.

She still doesn't come when called, or sit on command, or in fact do any other doglike obedient things.  But she does sit when she wants your food.  So there's that.  And she does fetch the squirrel, repeatedly, until you would really like to be done throwing the squirrel now please but she is still trying to get you to take it from her.

Really our biggest problem right now is that Beauty has decided to ignore the existence of the Schnork, and thus mows her down every time she runs down the hallway.  The Schnork is rightfully indignant and will undoubtedly sustain a rotator cuff injury soon.  I mean, it's mayhem in the hallway.  Beauty steps right ON the Schnork, or runs over the top of her, or sits on her, or beats her with her beefy Labrador tail.  And then she tries to pretend that she doesn't know why I'm yelling at her.

Do you think it's like True Blood, when somebody in the pack has done something just too awful, like get a really bad geometrical haircut, and they abjure the person/wolf?  Maybe Beauty has abjured the Schnork.  Then she couldn't be held responsible for mowing her down several times a day, because she LITERALLY DOESN'T SEE HER.  THE SCHNORK DOES NOT EXIST FOR HER.  Stupid asymmetrical haircut.

In other Schnork news, she managed to use a tool today, kind of, and I'm having to revise my opinion of her intelligence upward.  The sunroom is right behind my desk, and I realized I'd been hearing quite a lot of schnorking in there this morning so I turned to look.  And I saw the Schnork standing on top of a cat scratching post type item.  It's in the shape of an S, and it's pretty lightweight.  She had pushed it across the room and then stood on the upmost curve of the S so she could try to lick the remainder of the cat food out of Andy's bowl, which was on a chair too high for her to reach.  That's pretty ingenious for a dog, let alone a Schnork.  My theory is that although she has a tiny brain, she isn't using much of it to control her body (because there's so little to control).  So she has more brain than expected available for fiendish planning.

Friday, August 10, 2012

But if I don't do it then I'll never fail spectacularly

I am aggravated with myself.  I reread my old journals and I crack myself up.  I read actual published books, and I think "I could write a better book than that."  But do I get off my lazy butt and write said book?  No I do not.  I'm not so good at writing unless I have a long stretch of time in front of me.  Or it's due tomorrow.

Also, part of me thinks I should actually hike the entire trail before writing a book about it.  I mean, Bill Bryson didn't, but he was already a famous author.  I'm just somebody who amuses my own self.

I'm probably going to have to do something adult and mature like make a commitment.  Like, I made a commitment to go to the gym twice a week to do the back exercises the physical therapist taught me.  It's important, it's for my own good, and I actually do it.  Of course, that's only 45 minutes twice a week, which isn't a huge commitment.  But I think it counts.

Gah.  Hate being adult and mature.  Is much more fun to watch tv and eat Twinkies.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure that I've ever watched tv and eaten Twinkies simultaneously.  Also not sure how many years it has been since I ate a Twinkie.  I am definitely sure that I loved Twinkies when I was nine.  Also I loved that tomato soup with the alphabet in it.  What was that called?  I can't remember.  But I tried it again when I grew up (technically I'm an adult now) and it tasted sweet and gross.  Sad.

Also, we haven't really watched "tv" since those jerks changed everything to digital and turned my tv into a useless hunk of metal and glass.  I watch Netflix.  Sporadically.


I just went into the kitchen because I heard the dryer buzz (the dryer is only accessible through the kitchen) and as I walked through I saw a camel cricket.  ON THE CUTTING BOARD.  Camel crickets have invaded our kitchen!  I screamed like a little girl, and then I tried to kill it with a knife but it jumped, like those little effers like to do.  So instead I dropped the cutting board on it from several feet up, and miraculously I hit the critter.  And then I bravely killed it by stepping on the cutting board.  Not one of my finer moments.  I'll sleep in the woods for months on end, but do NOT let one of those godawful too-many-leg prehistoric-looking things in my house.  Eesh.



We are having a domestic situation here at the house.  I can't really give you any details because my husband might divorce me, but the gist is that we have a LOT of ants in here right now.  All over the place.  I am having hysterical itching.


What's a good way to do something that you do want to do but it involves being grown up and mature?  Do you think 45 minutes twice a week is reasonable?  That's, like, 8 words in Words with Friends, which is mostly Words with my Husband, except not in the "we're having words" way.  It's amicable.  Except when I get all vowels.

The really galling thing is that it's mostly written already.  I'm planning to take journal entries, spell check them, buff them a little, and intersperse them with commentary as I feel moved to do so.  And it's not like I need to do a lot of fact checking.  (I might need to change some names to protect the innocent.)

So annoyed with myself.  Might put self on restriction.  No tv for one week.  Or Twinkies.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

On the whole I have few regrets

I came across one of those "things people regret on their deathbed" sorts of things today.  I took the moment to pause and think about my life.  What have I done that I'm happy about?  What would I regret having not done, if I were at the end of my life?

Things I'm happy about:

I got a degree in physics.  In one sense I never use it (my job is not physics related), but in another I use it every day of my life.  I always wanted to know how things worked.  And to a large extent, I do thanks to that degree.

I had a really great dog.  Everybody should have at least one really great dog.

All the time I got to spend wandering around in the woods as a kid.  I made up a thousand stories, and ate as many wild berries.

I've experienced enough pain and suffering to enhance my empathy for others.  You really have to walk a mile in those shoes to know what it's like.

I had a really great horse.  Far fewer people experience this than a really great dog, but it is, if anything, more fulfilling.  Dogs are bred to want to be around humans, and their pack structure makes them nicely obedient if you're the alpha.  So they're kind of easy. Horses, on the other hand, usually don't care about people except as it relates to their dinner.  If you have a really great relationship with a horse, it means a special horse and probably a whole lot of time spent together.

I own my very own Lipizzan cross, as close as I could afford to get to nature's own dressage machine.  And I did in fact ride dressage on him for several years.  More importantly, that nutty horse and I have learned each other.  I have not yet met another horse who will play Red Light Green Light with me.

I finally told the man I loved how I felt about him, and we are now married.  

If things go as planned, we'll own our own house together before either of us is 50.  We are pretty much financially stable.  This makes me happy.  I have never been comfortable with debt.

I have some really great friends.  And they are not the ones who I expected to end up with, which makes it more special.

I have spent a LOT of time alone in nature.  I've sat on the tops of mountains - under a clear sky, in the middle of a cloud, watching a storm come in, plundering a blueberry patch, listening to absolute silence.  I've felt nature's fury against my bare skin.  I've laid out at night, far from a city, and seen too many stars to count.  I've felt the thrill of sharing a place with a wild thing.  Teaching myself the skills to be comfortable alone in the wilderness has been a wonderful experience.  Sometimes scary, but wonderful.

I've met hundreds of people hiking, and they have almost all been the sort of people you would really want to meet.

I've made some people happy and I've made some people laugh.

Things I regret:

Sometimes I was lonely when I didn't have to be.

Sometimes I've been unfair to others.  And to me.

All those times I got Lyme disease.  What a waste.

Oddly enough, I regret not meeting some people who died before I was born, or before I could meet them.  Two grandparents, and JD's dad.


On the whole, the likes far outweigh the regrets.  I think I'll keep going the way I'm going.

Is there anything I still want to do?  Of course!  I want to keep enjoying my life, and that means more hiking, travel, trying my best at my job, many years of laughter with JD, probably more dogs and cats, and loving my friends and family to the best of my ability.  But as far as anything that I've never done that I really wish I had?  Something I would regret missing? Nope.  Can't think of one thing.