Please welcome my new car, and try not to mention her hips. She's touchy.

I guess I can't NOT tell you that I bought a new car.  Eddy got too expensive and annoying to maintain.  And as much as I loved his bullet marked self, it was time for a new car.  Past time, even.  And then the windshield wipers started to shred, and the seal around the hatchback had already started to leak, and then on Friday the check engine light came on.


"THAT IS IT" I said.  In all caps.  I was done.  I was so done.  I mentally wished Eddy a fond farewall and girded myself for the car shopping that had finally come.  I still had no idea what I wanted, other than it would be comfortable and drive okay.  And have lumbar support.  I have always owned cars with lumbar support.  I just assumed it was normal.  But as it turns out, lumbar support is one of those special luxuries one gets, along with nice radios and fancy hubcaps.  About which I do not give a shit.  But the lumbar support is essential, especially after Pluto's contribution to the health of my lower spine.

So I drove my happy ass to Carmax on Saturday morning.  Well, first I spent an hour searching for Eddy's title.  Then I drove to Carmax.  And because I had never been there before, I first blundered into the associated Toyota dealership.  I had no idea.  I thought it was just Carmax.  And so there was a very nice salesmen talking about Toyotas and I'm wall "why the Toyota fixation dude?"  But anyway I test drove a RAV4 after talking to him about my car-related needs.  And once I finally figured out I was in a Toyota dealership, I said thanks and asked for directions to the used car lot.

He notified Charlene that I was coming, and she accompanied me around the lot as we checked car after car to see if it had lumbar support.  Answer:  no.  Finally we found like five cars with lumbar support, and I test drove them.  Okay, five "crossover vehicles".  Because I needed a station wagon, basically, in which I could drive both 2+ human beings and carry a bunch of crap.  Backpacks, yoga mats, horse cookies.. it all adds up.  Plus my muck boots, jumper cables, snow shovel, and a bunch of other useful objects.  So I need a lot of room in my boot.

The problem was this:  most of these vehicles drove like a truck.  I don't want to drive a truck.  I want to drive a car.  The one that drove the very best?  Had a scent issue.  I don't know what the hell they did to it, but it had a perfume smell that had my throat raw after the test drive.  I thought maybe I could live with it until the smell faded, until I found the two spots where somebody had drilled through the body of the car.  And I decided that I did not need to know what illegal activities had taken place in this vehicle, but I DID need to not buy it. 

I also drove a Mazda CX-something out of affection for Mazdas.  And it drove like a dream.  But it did not have lumbar support.

Around this time JD showed up.  He had to stay home because due to bizarre and crazy happenstance, we got our drive regravelled yesterday.  And somebody had to pay the graveller.  Obviously I couldn't, as I was car shopping.  He went on one test drive with me, but by then it had been five hours and I was completely zombified.  I had no idea which vehicle was which.  They all blended together.  So we left for Silver Diner.

At Silver Diner I ordered a diet coke and a coffee, because they only had caffeine free diet coke and I clearly needed caffeine.  I also ordered a bunless burger and some mashed potatoes (safely GF) and ate moodily while staring at JD's fries.  Once I was back in the land of the living, we talked about the various vehicles I had tried out.  There is no huge benefit in buying used vehicles right now.  Everybody wants them, and so the price has gone up.  So I decided to buy the very first vehicle I had tried - the new RAV4.  It drove great, it had lots of cargo room, the back seats were fine, and if I got the fancy package I could have lumbar support.  And butt warmers!

Only problem was, I had left Eddy's registration at home.  So we drove back there, and waited a little until Mr Toyota Salesman was available again, and then spent all of my available money on a new RAV4.  In green.  Not that I particularly cared about the color.  And we finally got back home around 9 pm.

So I am the new owner of a RAV4.  Note that I did not say "proud".  It's a nice enough vehicle, but it's no Eddy.  And it has a LOT of functions, most of which I have not read the manual for yet.  So it beeps at me a lot.  It's a little bitchy.  And it was manufactured in Canada.  It's clearly female (RAV4's are a little wide in the hip area) and might be named Nanette.  I'm waiting to see.

Starting the long, hard, boring search for a new vehicle

My car, Eddy, will be ten years old next month.  I just spent lots and lots of money getting his 90,000 mile tuneup on the theory that I would have him several more years.  But small problems are creeping up.  The "multifunction switch", i.e. the stick on the steering wheel that controls the various lights, started malfunctioning this weekend.  The dents where he got shot are growing larger and ever more rusty.  The seatbelt doesn't retract like it used to.  The driver's seat wore through to metal several years ago.  Also I am reminded that maybe he has started going through oil, and I need to check the level now.

Basically I need to start thinking about a new vehicle, because at some point Eddy will either to be too expensive to maintain, or too annoying to continue driving.  Or both.

I would buy an identical replacement, except of course they quit making them.

It's hard for me to shop for a new car because there are so many of them, and none of the sites have an option for "not awful", "comfortable", or "good for back pain".  Also "cheap to have work done".  I used to have a requirement that I be able to transport a ladder in it, but now I can use JD's truck so it doesn't really matter.  My car seldom gets used to ship large object anymore.

Do they have an option for "doesn't make my dog carsick"?

A bunch of horses is a herd. What do you call a bunch of cars?

Today was a very good day for JD.  He got to sleep in, he got a free Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit, and then he bought a car.  And it's a pretty nice car.

Me, I started with a migraine.  I also got a free chicken biscuit, but I don't remember what it tasted like because I was on the phone with work-related stuff (while inside the Chick-Fil-A building, and I'm sure it was a joy for those near me) while I ate it.  Then we drove to the dealership and I sat there with JD for three hours.  The original plan was for me to do a little test drive, and then if it were all good JD would drop me off to go hiking and pick me up after the car was bought.  But it turns out that if you want to be a co-owner, you have to sit there and sign things for hours. 

Well, of course I wanted to be co-owner.  If that man croaks I don't want to go through probate just so I can sell off his car.  And of COURSE I would sell off his car(s).  How many cars can one woman drive anyway?

So I sat at the dealership.  I also talked on the phone there.  Not fun stuff, of course.  Work.  Though I did get to chat with Morty, which is always nice.

We got a quick lunch afterward.  I wanted to split the power bar in my car, but after a little thought I realized that we would both break teeth if we did that.  A cold power bar is one of the hardest substances known to man, close to the quality of tungsten.[1]  The power bar was out there in  my car while we were in the dealership.  It was 31 degrees out.  I already have two crowns.

So we got lunch and then we went for a hike.  I figured we didn't have time to do my regular six mile hike, because it was already 2:30 and we needed to leave the house for the evening by 5.  And I was going to need a shower before we left.  So we did a 1.1 mile trail.  I was pretty much warmed up and ready to start really walking by about .9 miles.  And then we got back in our cars.  I had the hiker equivalent of blue balls.  It was just a trail tease.

Me and my blue feet went home and showered, and then we headed out to the metro.  And we met nerds and drank beer.  And my day finally got better.

Tomorrow I hope to see my horse and Tara[2] and do a little riding and in general have a more me-like day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go clean litter boxes.  That is a very me-like day ending, these days.

[1] In both hardness and flavor.

[2] And her horse.