Today was the day of my first Toastmasters speech. My icebreaker. (That's what they call it.) I prepared carefully. I met with my mentor. I rehearsed my speech mentally. I rehearsed my speech out loud, recorded it, and listened to the playback. Three times. I planned my lunch, my outfit, and my daily schedule around the meeting.
This morning when I woke up, my entire torso felt like there were bees buzzing around within it. I briefly contemplated some chemical help in the form of Xanax, but I figured that while chemistry may help with better living, it probably won't help me get over my phobia. So I stayed unmedicated. However, I was careful not to add to the bees. No caffeine for me.
(Supersonic "eeeeeee!" buzzed around in my brain all morning.)
I got nothing of substance done in the office in the morning. I tried to. But no, nothing. I timed my speech again. I tried to read emails. I checked to make sure I had everything I needed. Finally, it was time to walk to the building where the group meets. Fifteen minutes early, of course. Today would have been a bad day to be late.
We met in a different room today. EVERY OTHER MEETING was in one room. A room I was familiar with. A room I was comfortable with. Not today. Special for today we met in a glass walled conference room. Today's room goes by the appellation of the Skybox. I felt like I was on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. From the speaker's position, you could see all the way down the building, and down into the atrium. Yikes.
I met and talked with Becky while waiting for the meeting to start. A lot of members didn't show up, including my evaluator. Becky volunteered to evaluate my speech for me. This was a lucky thing for me, because Becky would have made an excellent cheerleader. By the time she got done evaluating my speech, I felt like I had won an Academy Award. According to Becky, I'm awesome.
The actual speech went fairly well. I left out some parts, but that's fine. I stayed within my time limits. I wanted to make it closer to the long end than the short end, since I have a hard time speaking long enough. I accomplished that. Also, I didn't hyperventilate, faint, or cry. Apparently I looked confident. Looks are deceiving. But that's why I wore that irresistible purple sweater today.
I was amused and a little appalled to note that some of the others in their comments had mentioned that I should try not to use note cards. The manual specifically says you can use them. I had six note cards, which I referred to three times (in total). And I didn't hold them, I left them sitting on the lectern. So really? For my first speech, you think I should have tried to avoid using note cards? Do you remember what a first speech is like?
Anyway, I survived and people were nice, and I got a ribbon. Everybody gets a ribbon for their first speech. It's pinned up on my desk now.
PS I talked about being a long distance hiker. Several people were interested and requested variations on the topic for future speeches. I may do all ten dang speeches on aspects of long distance hiking.
(eeeeee!)
