The Year of Eating Dangerously (or, My time as a superhero)

I miss my superpower.

For about a year and a half, I could eat anything.  Sausage.  Greasy french fries.  Cheese sauce.  Hamburgers.  Tom Kha Gai.  *Anything*.  And there were no repercussions other than a growing waistline.

If you have a functional digestive system, this may not seem like much of a superpower to you.  But to me, with my uneasy relationship with food from birth on?  It was better than being able to fly.

My whole life (except for that year and a half), I had to plan my day around food.  If I went out for dinner and a movie, it better be a movie and dinner, in that order.  Because I would be doubled over with pain after the dinner.  Nobody wants to go to the movies with somebody who is doubled over and groaning.  My ex-boyfriends could all tell you (with much grumbling) how annoying it was that I was in pain after nearly every meal.  As could my other friends.

Eating is not, normally, optional.  Do you know how conflicting it is to have to do something, every day of your life, that you know is going to hurt?

I was introduced to the idea of supplemental digestive enzymes five years ago, and that was a useful crutch.  But I had to carry these capsules everywhere with me.  And I had to be careful how I took them, because you do NOT want to burp when there are digestive enzymes floating atop the contents of your stomach.  It is important to pack them down with a little more food.

My Year of Eating Dangerously?  Was sponsored by andrographis.  It's an herb I began taking to treat Lyme Disease.  However, about a month after I started taking it, I realized that I couldn't remember having had a stomachache recently.  Which was weird.  I went and googled andrographis, and it turned out that Lyme Disease treatment is not its primary use.  What it's really good at is boosting bile production.

So, for a year and a half I benefited from the herb.  And then, as these things do, it stopped working for me.  My body adjusted to it, or my liver just can't keep up anymore, or something.

Andrographis and I are breaking up.  The rental on my red cape is over.  I have to go back to being the poor schlub walking on the ground, not that superhero flying up above.  With french fries.