Links to all the gluten free products I prefer

It's been four months since I went on a gluten free, cow dairy free diet.  I specify cow dairy because I can eat goat and sheep cheese just fine.  I know that some people go gluten free because it's trendy, or because they think they'll lose weight.  I did it because I was sick as hell, and nothing had worked to make me better.  The doc tested me for celiac disease, which caused me to go read up on celiac disease.  And that's when I found out that even if you don't have celiac disease (or do have it but test negative) you can still have a bad reaction to gluten.  So I girded my wallet and tried it.

I felt better, but not 100%, so on a hunch I stopped having milk or cow cheese.  And then I felt nearly 100% better.  Except when I screwed up and ate something containing gluten or cow milk.  Which really reinforced the fact that those two things were causing me trouble.

My initial symptoms were primarily gut pain (at times so intense that I thought perhaps an ER visit was in order) and pretty amazing bloating.  Like, several months pregnant level bloating.  I had to stop wearing most of my pants because during the day I'd swell up so much that not only did the pants not fit anymore, but there was a five inch gap at the top of the zipper.  The bloating was uncomfortable, as you might imagine.

The gastroenterologist I was sent to was completely effing useless.  After his tests (including upper endoscopy) failed to reveal anything at all, he just looked at me and said there was nothing he could do.  "I can't treat pain", he said.   I said that I had tried cutting out gluten and that I felt much better as long as I avoided it.  And he told me not to avoid gluten!  The fact that it appeared to be the source of my pain was beside the point.  The tests had shown no gluten problems, so I had no gluten problems.  He said, quoted to the best of my memory, "It's very difficult to avoid all gluten in your diet.  You probably shouldn't do that."

I don't care if there are toothy alien heads protruding from beneath my sternum, I will not be going back to that doctor.

Four months is not a long time to heal an overstressed gut, IMHO.  I feel much better, but I don't think I'm all the way better.  I did try eating a roll a few weeks ago, to see what would happen.  I was fine.  So a week later I ate another roll - and this time I felt bad.  So it would appear that at this point I can tolerate a small amount of gluten, very infrequently.  I hope that in the future I can tolerate more, but I'm not counting on it.

I'd heard of gluten intolerance prior to getting sick, of course.  It was always one of those "oh please no, not me" sort of conditions.  I ranked it right up there with cancer.  Fortunately, I don't have cancer (as far as I know) but I do have a gluten intolerance.  I think I'm dealing with it reasonably well.  I've found several good substitutions for every-day items in my diet.  Poor JD, who previously had to deal with my fat intolerance and occasional dairy intolerance, has dealt admirably with cooking for my new gluten intolerance.

I'm going to list some of the things I've found that I really like, just in case you have gluten (and/or dairy) intolerance and could use some tips.  Keep in mind that it's only been 4 months so I'm not up on gluten information like somebody with lifetime celiac disease would be.  But so far these things have been making my life better.

Almond Breeze original unsweetened almond milk - so much tastier than soy or rice milk.  Also I see that they have an almond coconut version and I'm thinking thai chicken coconut soup.  Mmmm.

Feel Good Foods has several delicious varieties of dumplings and egg rolls for when I get a dim sum craving.  Not the same as going out for dim sum (no pork buns!) but still pretty dang good.  They're frozen so you can buy them and stash them in the freezer until you get the craving.

Against the Grain Gourmet sells utterly amazing rolls that are an improvement on wheat rolls.  JD wanted one of my gluten free rolls for Thanksgiving rather than a crusty french roll.  That's how good they are.

Schar gluten free pizza crusts - not as good as going out for a good brick oven pizza, but as good as most frozen pizzas in a box.  You have to provide the toppings.  Which works for me, because of my dairy issue.  I've been using Manchego cheese, made from sheep's milk, instead of cow cheese.  That includes on pizza, sandwiches, and omelets.  And plain as a snack.  Schar also makes a variety of pretty good cookies.

San-j gluten free tamari  - regular soy sauce has wheat in it!  Who knew?  So I started using this wheat free tamari sauce.  There are gluten free soy sauces out there as well.  You have to read the label.  But this means we can cook asian food at home, and I got some little packets to take to restaurants with me.  Sushi is tricky, btw.  The dressing on the salad is suspect.  The miso soup is suspect.  The freaking fake crab in the California rolls is full of wheat.  Plain fish is safe.  Anything marinated (including my favorite gourd strip rolls) is not.  The fish eggs aren't safe - some have soy in them.  The eel isn't safe because of the sauce.  Basically I can have tuna and cucumber rolls.  Don't even think about anything with a tempura coating.

Rice noodles are a safe replacement for wheat pasta, and I like how they taste.

Kinnikinnick gluten free donuts are not a replacement for a glazed yeast donut, but they keep me from feeling sad on donut day at work.  If cake donuts are your favorite, they're fine.

I have yet to find a variety of Nut Thins crackers that I don't like.

Popchips are safe to eat and lower calorie, which is a nice bonus.  Plus I like the taste.  They're expensive in single servings so last time JD bought a big bag and repackaged them into single servings in sandwich size zipper bags.  Mmm.

I'm sorry that I have to tell you that Dr. Lucy's Chocolate Chip Cookies are really, really good, because you might develop an addiction to them the way I have.  I have to keep them on a shelf way up high and out of my line of sight.  They're that good.  I haven't tried any of the other varieties of cookies.  I'm scared.

Glutino makes a variety of gluten free products, of which by far the best are the pretzel sticks.  Although to be fair I haven't tried everything else they make.  But the pretzel sticks are excellent.

Van's gluten free waffles are pretty good toaster waffles.  They're sort of Eggo-y.  I haven't tried all the flavors.

Udi's white sandwich bread is sort of like french bread, but in sandwich form.  I.e. I love it.  I've always preferred french bread to sandwich bread, so this is the perfect amalgamation.

There are several restaurants that are gluten-free friendly.  Either they have a separate gluten free menu, or they note the gluten free items on the menu.  Some of the ones I enjoy are P.F. Chang's,
Outback Steakhouse, Silver Diner, and Chipotle.  Also I was amazed and pleased to see that my cafeteria at work has started labeling some of their offerings as gluten free.  I have sent them a couple of comments and they have been very responsive.

There are a couple of cuisines which work pretty well for me.  I can safely buy a variety of Indian and Thai frozen dinners which by nature have no gluten ingredients.  Papadums are often gluten free.  Mexican food may or may not be safe, depending on where you get it.  Taco Bell has virtually nothing gluten free on the menu.  But if the restaurant's main starches are corn, rice, and beans, I'm golden. 

Beer is pretty much out, but there are a few alternatives.  Anheuser-Busch makes Redbridge Beer, which so far is the most beery tasting gluten free beer I've tried.  Most of the other gluten free beers are brewed with rice and sorghum, and they end up with a bit of a sour flavor to them.  It's not horrible, but it doesn't keep me coming back for more.  However new gluten free beers are being brewed all the time, and I intend to keep trying them.  :)  Wine is fine, as is hard cider.  Gluten intolerance has not kept me from being a lush.  It hasn't even kept me from having beer with my crab in summer.  It has, however, interfered with my enjoyment of sig-beer.  I miss having a good porter with my pals.

Of course, there are plenty of foods that don't have gluten in them, even though it seems like it's in everything sometimes.  Fruit, plain meats, plain vegetables, corn, oats (for me - some celiacs have issues), lentils, rice, potato, quinoa, beans, chocolate, cheeses.. there's a whole lot of gluten free food out there.  It's just that things get mixed together, and then they're not gluten free anymore.  Sadly for me.  Even corn cereal (like Corn Chex) or rice cereal (like Rice Krispies) are not necessarily gluten free.  I'm reading labels very intently these days.

I really hope that you don't have to deal with this issue, but if you do then I hope my links above are helpful.  Bon appetit!

Dietary experimentation

I have big news.  Big, big news.

I ate a roll.

You probably expected something more grandiose, like "I got a new job!" or "Andy contracted fatal acne".  But to me it's big.  I've been living gluten free, with a few accidental exceptions, for four months.  I wasn't sure if this was going to be a lifetime change, or if a few months off might heal me up enough to be able to handle it again. 

When I went hiking with DeLee a couple of weeks ago, I accidentally ate beef jerky which had been marinated in soy sauce.  I stopped as soon as I realized what I had done, then waited.  And no pain.  So this past Monday, I bought a wheat roll to eat with my lunch.

Man, that was a good roll.

I waited nervously all afternoon for the stab of massive pain.  And it never showed up.

So, that was nice.

I'm planning another experiment next week.  Perhaps soy sauce.  I'm not jumping back into the world of gluten too vigorously, because it hurt too much for that.  But it would be nice to be able to be less careful than I am right now.

Beer.  Right there, beer, is a thing it would be nice to be less careful with.  Some of the gluten free beers aren't awful, but none of them are fantastic.  And you know I like me the fancy beers.  It's porter time of year.  You really need a good porter when you make chili.  It brings out the deliciousness.  (I mean, you put the beer in the chili when it's cooking.  But drinking it is also nice.)

Am seriously hoping to be able to report in another week or so that I ate another gluten thing and I still felt fine. 

Oh, gluten.  I hardly knew ye.  And I'd like to get back in touch.

I keep saying "glucose free"

I haven't had a lot to say recently.  I've been sick.  It's boring.  You know what's more boring than being sick?  Writing about being sick.

I'll sum up:

Felt horrible
Laid around a lot
Eventually was able to see GI doc
Excitingly, had immediate celiac test and endoscopy
All tests came back negative
.. so I still don't know what's wrong
Decided to go gluten free and it helped
Decided to go lactose free and it helped
Still waiting for follow up with GI doc, where he'll tell me he still doesn't know what's wrong
In mean time, trying to get back to daily life but feeling very much like I've had a long flu

You know how after you have the flu you feel better for a day and you think you're fine until you try to do anything?  And then you realize that you have all the strength and endurance of a newborn kitten?  I've had that going on.  When I first got home from the trail I was too sick to exercise, so I pretty much just worked and lay on the sofa.  But it feels like more than the end result of laziness.  The first time I tried to walk around the park, my knees were rubbery at first.  They failed to get better, and then after a mile I started cramping all over my body.  It was not what I expected.

My back definitely did not appreciate the extended time off from the gym, and started hurting all the time.  So I went to the gym and did the best I could.  The back has been getting better.  And the rest of me too.  I went to the park this weekend and I didn't start cramping up until mile four.  That's measurable improvement.

I never in my life thought I'd go on a gluten free diet, so this has been interesting.  I've been reading a lot of labels.  Restaurants are a problem.  I've been trying to eat at the cafeteria and have chosen poorly a couple of times.  Today, for instance.  But since I don't have celiac disease, I think I can assume that I am only causing myself temporary inconvenience when I have gluten, rather than long term intestinal damage.  Although, as soon as I stopped eating gluten, several awful skin things that had not been responding to treatment started to heal up.  So maybe the implications are more far reaching.

Lactose free I've done before.  I already knew what brand of soy milk I like on my cereal, and if past experience serves I'll be able to eat goat and sheep cheese. 

I'm going to have to start packing my lunch more and that bugs.  I really liked being able to get fresh hot food at the cafeteria.  Sigh.

JD was out of town while I was experimenting with gluten/lactose free living.  Tonight was his first night back where he cooked dinner.  He made us a pretty good dinner with a red quinoa base.  He made enough that I'm dehydrating the leftovers to take camping.  It should be good with savory stuff for dinner or with sweet stuff for breakfast.  A little non-dairy protein powder, a little stevia, maybe some walnuts.. Actually I'm making myself hungry.  Heh.

The camping I mentioned above?  I have a week long trip scheduled for the beginning of October.  I've been planning it for a year.  I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do it.  But if I don't prepare for it and then I'm well enough when October gets here, I'll be pretty pissed at missing the opportunity.    So I'm finding foods that won't make me sick (Packit Gourmet is nice enough to label their stuff if gluten or lactose free) and working out the logistics now.  DeLee and I are going to go on a low mileage trip in a couple of weeks to see if going up and down hills wearing a backpack is a problem or not.  If it's okay, I'll make a motel reservation for a night in Waynesboro so we can stage ourselves for a Shenandoah hike.

Let's see, good news?  I can totally eat chocolate.  And jelly beans.  I found gluten free waffles.  Beer and wine are both being a problem, but scotch apparently is not.  Oh, and I am entered into a humorous speech contest in exactly a week and apparently I'm okay with that.  Trying to decide if I'm going to talk about the Schnork, the day we tried to move Playboy into Chocolate's field, or the day Trouble kicked a Roomba's ass.  I was going to link to those last two but they were a really long time ago and a little hard to find online so I'll repost them here. 

Return from the dead

You probably can't imagine just how thrilled I was when I woke up this morning and realized that I had not had to make any midnight maybe-gonna-puke dashes.  Aw, yeah!  Kicking this virus to the curb!  Except for the part where my whole abdomen hurts, and eating is kind of painful, and also I need a nap.

I tried making plain old noodle soup for lunch, and that hurt despite its innocuousness.  So, not as recovered as I had hoped.  But I was able telecommute for most of the day, and dinner (two french rolls, a little bit of soft cheese, and a little bit of pear) felt okay.  Maybe tomorrow I can get back to normal.

Except that tomorrow I have a dental appointment.  Not sure if it will involve anesthetic, but if it does then lunch is probably a bust.

After several days of eating between nothing and very little, I have some food cravings building up.  I think JD and I are going to have a Five Guys blowout (i.e. the same meal I always get - a little burger, and half an order of fries) later this week.

I haven't heard anything about coworkers being struck down, so perhaps I did not pass it on to them.  One can hope.

nothing to see here

Today:  Please see yesterday.

So pleased with my ability to eat grits

My day got an early start when I jerked awake at 3:30 with the distinct impression that I was about to puke.  I jumped out of bed, ran into the bathroom, and... nada.  A lot of saliva and dry heaving.  Huh.

I still felt pretty nauseated, so I stood and waited.  I figure my technicolor yawn would be along any time.  The thing is, I was totally bareass.  And we turn the heat down at night.  Before long I noticed that it was COLD and I was not going to be able to just stand there all night, debating my puking status.

I got back into the warm bed for a few minutes, then ran back into the bathroom.  I realized that if this kept up (and it showed every sign of doing so) then I would not be the only one awake.  So after returning to the bedroom, I fished around in my sock drawer in the dark, found my warmest pair of socks, grabbed my robe, and headed downstairs.

All the animals were thrilled!  Somebody up in the morning means they all get fed.  The many pre-dawn runs that JD ran this year have trained them that morning is not necessarily after the sun comes up.  So, I fed all of them and then retired to the recliner to wait out my stomach.  First I took an acid reducer and a gas reducer to try to calm the unhappiness in the tum.  They only barely stayed down.

I read some, trying to distract myself.  It worked pretty well.  I was surprised to check the time and find it was already 6:30.  The lack of sleep started to hit me pretty hard, so I went back upstairs and checked into the guest room.  Propped up on pillows, with a cat behind my knees, I zonked out.

At nearly noon, I woke up again.  And ran for the bathroom again. Wow, that had already gotten old.  I contemplated returning to sleep, but in my dreams I had killed someone and I was A) still feeling pretty bad about it, and B) still worried about getting caught.  Sleepy logic is bad logic.  Instead I decided to rejoin the living.  I meandered around the house with some water, taking the occasional sip.  After a few hours I felt up to trying a water cracker.

And so, my day progressed.  I'm proud to announce that I'm up to tea with honey, and grits.  Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to eat fruit.  Or vegetables.

All my officemates?  I'm sorry, but this seems to be reasonably contagious.  Looks like a four day incubation period.

And that walk I was planning today?  Not so much, if you don't count the sprinting to the bathroom thing.

I didn't even almost get something done

I slept terribly, but not because of the heat. Around ten I got an upset stomach. Nothing came out of me but I wished it would. I drifted around the house, trying to find somewhere I could be comfortable. Finally I went back to bed, and around one fell into a nightmare filled sleep. My plan of getting up before five to hike was looking unlikely. Then at four the dog woke me to let me know it was storming. For a mercy it was coming down straight and I could leave the windows open. I turned off my alarm. Less than four hours of sleep and slippery wet rocks added up to "not happening this time."

At eight I got up, dragging. I loafed around the house, still nauseated. Eventually I let Liza know we weren't coming over and then went back to bed. But first I shut the house up tight, hoping to hold the cool night air inside as long as possible. It worked tolerably well. The dang cats are well on their way to ruining all the screens though. They were highly excited to have all the windows open all night.

After a day in which I did almost entirely nothing, I'm about to hit the sack again. I'm sincerely glad today was not a work day. Tomorrow will be another AC free day, and probably a couple after that until we get a service person out. But this old house seems to be handling it okay.