At least I ended the day with all my teeth basically intact

I think I'm on a 48 hour schedule with Lyme.  I feel bad starting in the evening, feel bad for about two days, then I feel good on the third evening.  Feel good for about two days, then feel bad on the third evening.

Today would be the start of the bad two days.  Unfortunately, the timetable leads me to believe that I will feel fine this Saturday morning, and crappy Saturday evening.  Guess when I'm having people over?

Things that went wrong today:

1)  Didn't finish straightening up before the maid service got to the house, so I was running around, stepping over their gear.  Then, due to fluster-ment, I..
2)  Left my cellphone home.  Discovered that I have an extremely strong addiction to it.  Got all twitchy as I kept reaching for it and then remembering it wasn't there.
3)  Ate a Lara bar and it pulled out my stupid crown.  It was last recemented in January, as it turns out.  The dentist was able to fit me in right away.  That was nice.  He says that since it's come out twice in the last year, we need to redo the crown.  They're checking to make sure insurance will cover the procedure, and then I have to go in and have my tooth stub whittled down more.  Yay.
4)  Picked up a late lunch, and as I started eating it I began to have fever and chills.  And ickiness.  However the lunch was good.
5)  I telecommuted the rest of the day, so I missed the surprise visit from the building manager.  He wanted to tell me that once again I've been volunteered to be a Fire Warden.  I did that for fifteen damn years in the last building, and for what?  No remuneration, that's for sure.  Not much in the way of thanks.  And whenever we had fire drills, the Incident Commanders were assholes to me.  I will be bringing up all these points to the building manager when we meet later this week.

Good things that happened today:

1) Worked on implementing Operation Get Cats in Carriers.  I divided dinner into two parts.  All of the kibble was placed at the backs of the three cat carriers so that the cats had to go into them to eat.  I did that once at three and once at five.
2)  Was proven correct and did not gloat (except here).
3)  JD made a tasty dinner.  The garlic and cilantro naan was the best part.
4)  Found a nice listing of a bunch of long distance hiking trails in the United States.  I've been looking for just such a thing.  Unfortunately a bunch of them aren't fully completed, but it's a good starting point.
5)  Worked out a good option for my next hike with DeLee in a couple of weeks, stupid spirochetes permitting.
6)  And determined that my co-worker isn't leaving town for the winter holidays so I am free to schedule Christmas with my folks as I please.  Next, looking up plane flights.

It hasn't happened yet, but I am hoping for some kitty snuggle time and some recreational netflixing this evening.  Life in the fast lane.

Daylight touched my skin and I didn't combust

I was somehow out of it enough to sleep right through my alarm this morning, yet when I finally woke up (over an hour late) I felt refreshed.  Isn't that odd?  I think that's odd.

Somebody clued me in last night that Greenbelt Park is a hotbed of Lyme disease.  I googled and sure enough!  I only have one definite case of Lyme from there, but two out three of the others could have come from there too.  Which would be annoying.  Mostly because I wasn't smart enough to figure it out on my own.

So, now I'm looking for other areas to hike in during tick season (i.e. when it's nice out.)  Tara offered to show me around her side of town.  Initially I thought it was too close and would also have lots of Lyme, but then I read that the Beltsville Agricultural Research Facility uses the "four poster" deer feeders / permethrin treatment stations so it's probably a good bet.  And anywhere that deer aren't protected and thus have no boom in population is probably safer, too.

Also today, in between fevering and chilling (I was all over the place today, excitingly changeable with the personal thermostat) I was considering how I am quite an expert in having Lyme disease now.  Maybe not on the level of a New Englander, but for a Marylander I'm right up there.  I caught it the first time when doctors here had barely even heard of it.  And yet, there is still so much I don't know.  Like, if you take antibiotics after first stage Lyme rather than second stage Lyme, how long does it take to heal up?  Ida know.  I shall find out soon, though.

(Hee!  I just got up to let the dog in and saw my reflection in the door.  I had forgotten I was wearing my wizard hat.  I bet the neighbors wonder sometimes.  Probably about more than just the hat.)

I got out on a walk today.  I wore long sleeves and long pants, SPF 45 on all exposed skin, and carried a golf umbrella.  No sunburn!  This is a major accomplishment for me when drugs are making me photosensitive.  The only problem is that carrying a golf umbrella for an hour is annoying.  It's actually a little tiring.  I'm kind of hoping for rain tomorrow, as walking in a raincoat seems more appealing.

I briefly considered getting one of these:  http://www.umbrellahat.net/  but A) it looks ridiculous, B) it isn't wide enough, and C) if it were wide enough it would be even more ridiculous.  I did actually order one of these:  http://www.equivisor.com/ .  It's giant visor that goes on over a riding helmet.  It won't protect the back of my neck or my hands, but it should do a dandy job over my face.  With luck it will be here by the weekend, when I hope to venture out into the daylight to see my horse. Technically I will see him in the daylight this Thursday when the vet comes out to vaccinate him.  It's supposed to be cloudy with a chance of showers and thunderstorms.  Bodes ill for riding with Tara in the evening, but well for my chances of being outside unscathed before dark.

I'm sorry to have to tell you that the next month will probably be about Lyme disease and sunburns.  You might want to go away and come back then.

In which Lyme kicks my butt

Man, I felt crappy last night.  We all went to bed early.  JD and the dog fell right asleep.  I had fever and chills and nausea and whatnot.  While JD quietly snored and the dog peacefully farted out a cloud of sulfur gas, I whimpered.  Oh, that sucked.

I woke up at eight in the morning, and then apparently fell back asleep.  When I glanced back at the clock it was ten.  I realized that I couldn't afford to fall asleep again, as I needed to take my morning dose of antibiotics.  I stumbled out of bed into the bathroom, and noticed that I had gained a double chin overnight.  And purple eyeliner.  Oh yay, the swollen glands and tired features of Lyme disease.  If I had any question before about whether or not I was really sick, I don't now.  (Although, I guess it could be the drugs.  But I doubt antibiotics would give me swollen glands all on their own.  Right?  Who the hell knows?)

I went downstairs and took my big blue pill.  Shortly thereafter, the phone rang.  Oh!  Yes!  Tara.  Totally forgot about my life outside the house.  I apologized for missing our ride, and asked her to check on Pluto.

Then several hours passed.  I'm not really sure what happened.  I was pretty out of it.

So I guess I could say I'm "fighting Lyme disease" now.  [1]  However, I personally feel that "fighting" is a stupid description of being sick.  It's more like "being mugged".  I am not hitting Lyme disease in the face.  I'm sitting here suffering.  Taking a pill twice a day does not qualify as fighting.  In fact, the whole "he bravely fought cancer for five years" thing bugs me.  He, the hypothetical he, SUFFERED from cancer for five years.  Going to chemo and barfing is not fighting.  It's the medical equivalent of being beaten up repeatedly.  I admit that there is some stoicism involved, but it's not like you're using judo skills on your disease.

Anyway, so the day passed.  And then I got hungry and JD suggested Chanan and there was yumminess.  Also, pants-wearing.

When we came back I sacked out on the sofa and watched a little Stargate SG-1 on Netflix.  Nazca, also, watched.

Nazca loves him some sci-fi.  He likes to watch from right in front of the tv.

It's been a very quadrupedal day.  Somebody furry has been touching me at nearly all times since before I awoke.  It started with Beauty pressed up against me in bed, then Andy on my lap, then Dory on my lap, then Dory, Andy, and Olli fighting for a place on my lap.. Fortunately it's cool enough to wear long pants (technically, champagne bottle pajamas) so no damage to the lap occurred.

The view from where I sat, for much of the day.

I expect I'll be heading back to bed soon, hoping for another ten to twelve hours of sleep.  If tomorrow is a repeat of today, work is going to suck.  Come on, doxycycline, do your thing.


[1] Lyme.  Not Lyme's.  It isn't possessive.  Lyme refers to a place, not a person.

Falling thermometer, rising hunger

Everybody is hungry.

I don't know what's going on.  The colder temperatures are pushing all of us to eat more?  All four cats, the dog, and I are super hungry today.  JD is always hungry so it's hard for me to tell a difference.

I came home and had, in quick succession, a glass of wine, two pieces of chocolate, several potato chips, and a piece of string cheese.  JD saw the carnage and decided there was no point to making dinner tonight.  Then I had a bowl of cereal.

The first day of antibiotics for Lyme always throws me for a loop.  My excuse is that my body needs fuel to fight.  Yeah, that's it.

Normally I would plan to get up and go hiking Saturday morning, but right now I'm planning to leave the alarm off and see what happens.  If I wake up early and perky, I'll head out.  Else I'll sit around until it's time for the crab feast.

Fuel.  It's fuel.

I'd like to leave you with this thought for the evening:

Ticks LOVE me. Unnaturally.

So, doc thinks it's Lyme disease.  That's Lyme disease round four, for those who are counting.  And I sure am.  I started my four weeks of antibiotics tonight.  Beginning in the next day or so I get to start practicing Extreme Sun Avoidance Maneuvers.  I think one of my keffiyahs is handy, and the really good sunscreen my mother in law clued me into.  Plus, we're heading into the fall so I should be able to wear long sleeves and long pants.  I'll have to fish out a pair of thin gloves as well.

Photosensitivity is the only side effect I generally experience.  Which is nice I guess.

You know what I'm sick of?  Tick borne illnesses.  I'm sure that comes as a great surprise.

These ticks were so small that I literally could not tell with the naked eye that they were ticks.  Hates them.  Hates them, precious.

Anyway I'm feeling pretty perky today.  The "short period of flulike symptoms" only lasted from mid-Tuesday to late Wednesday.  I'm hoping I'm not sick enough to have a severe Herxheimer reaction.  If I am, tomorrow is gonna suck.  If not, party!  It's Friday.

While I was visiting the doctor she harassed me about all the other crap I need to do, so I guess I'll be cold calling a physiatrist.  And getting my pap smeared.  And my mams grammed.  And for that matter all of the quadrupeds need vaccinations.

September is always so expensive.

Gear shopping

I spent a quiet day at home today.  Last night I felt pretty tired so I went to sleep at 9.  The alarm woke me at 7 and I wasn't ready to get up.  To me this indicates a malfunction.

I was already scheduled to wait for the plumber/videographer to come look at the pipes, so I settled in with a mug of coffee.  No change.  After a while a thought gradually drifted into my brain.  Let's see.. multiple tick bites Saturday.  Rash showed up four days later.  Fever a week after that.  1+1+1= I should go talk to my doc about Lyme disease again.  And so I have an appointment for tomorrow.  I hope to be the proud new owner of a prophylactic dose of antibiotics by the afternoon.

In less irksome news, today started Shopping for Camping Gear season.  I put a multitool on my Xmas wishlist.  I'm pondering putting a tarp/bivy combo on my wishlist too, following this blog article:

http://www.briangreen.net/2011/07/tarp-bivy-combo-your-sub-1lb-shelter.html 

Brian's whole website is pretty cool.  I got a couple of ideas from it.  I've subscribed to the RSS feed to see what else he might write.

I'm also hankering for an alcohol stove that can simmer.  So far I don't know of any lightweight ones.  This heavy one can do it, though:

http://www.greatoutdoorsdepot.com/trangia-westwind-stove.html

Somebody has to have made one of these NOT out of brass, right?  Right?

My new emergency radio showed up today.  It's one of these:

American Red Cross Radio

I neglected to notice before purchasing that you can't charge it from the wall.  Your options are solar or crank.  That's fine, though.  90 seconds of cranking buys you 30 minutes of radio time.  Assuming the rechargeable batteries don't bite it.

Oh, and the pipes?  Looked like I was watching somebody's colonoscopy.  Understandable I suppose.  Drain pipes are not that dissimilar to a colon.  Although they aren't self-repairing, unfortunately.

Emo blog post du jour

Something today got me thinking about Lyme disease.  I was thinking that one of the worst parts of it, for me, was the social withdrawal.  After I got sick and kept getting sicker, I stopped making plans.  I got tired of canceling plans with friends, and they got tired of being canceled on.  So I just stopped trying to go out and see people.  I couldn't predict if I would feel strong enough to go to the movies on Friday.  Most days I couldn't predict if I would be strong enough to sit upright and eat dinner. 

When my doctor didn't know what was wrong with me, he thought maybe depression was causing my problems.  But it was the other way around.  Being that sick *causes* depression.  Being in constant pain is depressing.  So is crushing fatigue.  Scary mystery symptoms, wondering if it's all in your head, trying to explain to people what's going one when you really don't know yourself.. all not fun.  All depressing.

I don't know how many times I looked around me and saw tasks that needed doing, and couldn't do them.  I couldn't vacuum.  I couldn't pick things up.  I couldn't scrub the toilet.  I couldn't wipe the kitchen counters.  I couldn't stand up long enough to wash dishes.  Every few weeks I would rest up and summon the energy to clean up a little bit, and then I would be wiped out again for a couple of days.

Just thinking about those times is upsetting.  I had to push people away because I didn't have the energy to deal with them, and that hurt all of us.  But with the level of fatigue I experienced, even having somebody come to the house to sit with me was beyond my endurance.  Getting up to answer the door used up maybe 10% of my energy for the day.  A few times people stopped by unannounced, and after their visits I sat trembling in fatigue, waiting for the energy to be able to climb the stairs to go to bed.  Because answering the door and reclining in a chair, not even keeping my head up, had totally drained me.

Normally this would be the point where I would offer advice to friends and family of the afflicted, but I can't think of any.  If you're so sick that just having people be there makes you worse, I don't know what helps.  I certainly didn't come up with any solutions for myself.  I had to wait until I got better.  And that was a very, very slow process.  More than a year after I got sick, and after five months of antibiotics, I started dating JD.  It was a leap of faith for me.  I still didn't know if I had the strength to carry on a social life, but it was important to me to try.  I didn't want to lose the chance I had with JD. 

JD got to witness a few crashes.  He saw how paranoid I was about energy expenditure.  I didn't want to plan long outings because I knew it was likely that midway through them I would have to be the big downer, ask to go home, and be sick and helpless.  It was years before I could have enough faith in my own body to be able to plan a day long outing and be pretty sure that I could do it all.  JD got to pick up the pieces on quite a few failed attempts - leaving me somewhere while he went to get the car, holding me while I shook in fever or fatigue, getting me an ice pack, making phone calls to cancel and apologize for me.

Despite two more bouts of Lyme since then, I feel stronger now than I did before my first go round with Lyme disease.  I am fanatical about exercise, about trying to eat right, about taking my vitamins and getting regular medical care.   I start antibiotics and herbs as soon as I suspect I have Lyme disease again.  I am hyper aware of my muscles, my joints, my lymph nodes, and my limitations.  I am careful to try not to injure myself, to try to avoid infection of any kind.  With all those precautions, I am healthier now than I have been in a long, long time. 

And I am terrified of ticks.