He's so hip he can't see over his own bum

Andy does not have the tolerance for recreational drugs that you would expect from a cat of his evident hipness.  He got totally wasted last night.  It was embarrassing.

I noticed a couple of days ago that he had a small mat of hair on his belly.  Unlike the Schnork, he is not a fan of the belly rubbing.  Especially when the rubbing involves scissors.  My options were taking him to the vet, trying to figure out some system of restraint that wouldn't injure everybody involved, or drugging him.  I went with the Xanax.

We used to give Trouble 1/3 of a tablet to zone him out for fluids under the skin.  I figured with Andy being both larger and more healthy than Trouble was, that 1/2 tablet would be all right.  And an hour after I gave it to him, he was pretty relaxed but not dopey.  I figured I had gotten it right.

However, an hour after THAT he was still overbalancing and then pretending that he meant to do that.  He had that "I know I'm drunk, but I'm going to pretend to be sober and hope the cop doesn't notice" look.  I ended up sleeping in the guest room so I could keep a sleepy eye on him during the night.  It took hours for him to sober up.

I guess in retrospect, you'd expect a grizzled veteran like Trouble to be able to hold his licker better than a middle aged lad like Andy.

Unnecessary Capitolization

Can you believe I'm the only one who didn't have trouble getting into the office today?  I thought it would be pretty quiet, what with everybody else out due to flooding, but it turned out really busy.  I even ended up telecommuting a bit after I came home.  That's no kind of fair.

OH MY!  Okay the thunder and lightning are getting closer and louder.  I've already Xanaxed the dog (When did Xanax become a verb?) and I can't really take Xanax myself because I've been hitting the old wine bottle(1) but just this second I wish I could.  My heart's still jumping.

Central Maryland has been pretty watery the last few days.  The Beltway flooded.  Route 50 flooded.  Various local roads flooded.  None that would prevent me from working, though.  Sadly.  Ideally the roads would have flooded immediately after a chocolate/french fries/cola/beer store.  That way I could stock up on supplies and then go home.

I started making a hurricane to do list last night.  I described it to JD, and he mentioned that we really needed to make bug out bags.  I pointed out that he's been saying that for five years now.  And we laughed, and hugged each other.  Yeah, when push comes to shove we're dead.  Because we're lazy.  Everybody who actually made a bugout bag?  Please feed our dog after we're gone.

DeLee texted me a picture (okay I realize that sounds like a contradiction but it's not) of her right foot this morning, and I realized that we were not going to be going backpacking this weekend.  Her foot still has insane large blisters on it, everywhere that her housemate pulled a larval tick off of her.  If those were in fact larval ticks.  It looks like her foot has the plague.  Good lord.  I am not crazy enough about backpacking to try to force one of my best friends to wear a boot when her foot is about to FALL OFF.  So, new plans for this weekend.

Of course, my new plans probably shouldn't involve being outdoors with the FLASH FLOODING.  Maybe I'll read a book.

1) Clos du Bois merlot, betches

Naked pictures woo

3 things.

1)  I was so angry today I shook.  It took a while to calm down.  Not good.  Might need Xanax again.

2)  I just finished listening to the audiobook of Earth Abides.  FANTASTIC book.  I recommend it.  It's 1940's era apocalyptic science fiction, imagining what happens if man gets mostly wiped out - in this case by disease.

3)  The most intimate pictures of me you will ever see:

One of us is unbothered by the situation

Today was better, Internet.  In case you were wondering, curious little bastard that you are.  Want to know what made it better?  I didn't answer phone calls.  Also, I took Xanax.  Otherwise I think it would have been a repeat of yesterday.  Also the day before.

I'm sure you're glad I got that off my chestal region.

Anyway, I got a lot done at work, and I feel good about that.  Though I am slightly curious what was in all those voicemails.

Also I had lunch with Delee and ate mass quantities of comfort food.  Mmmm, Reuben on pita.  Not those Sahara pitas with the accurate name*, but the flatbread-type pitas of deliciousness.

Tonight was Pluto's mani-pedi, so I hied me to the farm and fed him treats while he got his nails did.  It was nice to see him and Bonnie and Mystery.  There's nothing better than horsey kisses.*******  They have the softest smoothest muzzle, even a rough tough horse like Pluto.**  I love it when he puts his lips on my cheek and gives me little kisses.*** 

My husband took off to have fun with his car friends**** so I'm batching it tonight with the frozen pizza.  I'm not real adventurous feeling so that's the extent of my whoopee.  Soon I will clean the kitty litter and then give the old man fluids.  Are you having more fun than me?  Liar.*****

I realize there is still one more workday to go this week, but I have already leapt ahead to the weekend in my thoughts.  Day one I'm thinking viciously hard hike******, then nap.  Then Oktuberfest.  Day two, something equine.  If it's good weather.  I'm no glutton for punishment, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Unfazed by his working conditions

*If you eat one straight it makes your mouth feel like the desert.

**Seriously, the horse has Rasta mane.  There is nothing shiny or sleek about him.  It's like he sands his fur when I'm not there.

***Though sometimes I have to clean up afterward.. it can get a bit muddy.

****Which I do not begrudge, because my eyes glaze over when car talk starts.

*****If there is anything more fun than cleaning cat litter and poking old bastards with needles, please don't tell me.  I'm feeling very fragile right now.********

******I.e. the same easy six miles I always do.  But with vigor.

*******From Pluto.

********PS if my dog could please stop puking randomly and making me worry about her health, that would be awesome.  Or if the cat could stop puking in dog-adjacent areas.  Whichever.