My horse. Is afraid. Of ghosts.

Let me say that again.  My HORSE.  Is afraid of GHOSTS.

Does anybody else see the problem with this statement?

I did not have what you'd call a productive training session with Pluto this evening.  I'm trying to figure the best way to summarize it.  I think a dialog is the better option.

Me:  Hi!
Pluto:  MOM!  I missed you!  Here I am waiting at the fence, hurry up!  I will shove my head into the halter for you.
Me: ... okay.  I'll just go ahead and brush you and stuff.
Pluto:  Hurry up!  I will shove my head into the bridle for you.
Me:  Hey, looks like you're in a good mood!  Excellent.

(I see Tara pulling up, a little late.  Pluto and I head out to the arena ahead of her and Timber.)

Pluto:  AHHH There's something lurking!
Me:  No, that's a chair.  See?  I've turned the lights on and you can see that it's a chair.
Pluto:  All righty then.

(Four out of six lights in the arena are working.  The end closest to the road, gate, other horses, and cemetery is dark.  Also, the light on the nearby barn keeps turning on and off.)

Me:  How about we longe a little bit?
Pluto:  Okay, and look how good I am at it.  But I feel.. kind of.. off a little.  Like maybe I don't want to really step through with my hind legs.
Me:  Aw, crap.

(I palpate his legs, his back, the muscles all over his hind end.  Nada.)

Me:  Well, no trotting tonight for sure.  We'll wait for Tara to get here, then we'll just do some walking.
Pluto:  In the meantime, I'll be a lot of fun!  Let's do some games at liberty!
Me:  Hey, look at you paying attention and going through the obstacle course like a pro!  You kind of rock, you know.
Pluto:  (is modest)

(Tara arrives with Timber.  That's my cue to mount up.)

Pluto:  I don't think I want you on my back right now.  Also, have you noticed my giant penis?
Me:  Yes, yes, you're hung like a horse.  Har.  Put it away.  Also, please stand still so I can get on.
Pluto:  I am going to continue sidling away.  And I REALLY like you.  I like you so much that I'm biting you now, in a really annoying stallion-with-mare way.
Me:  Seriously.  Put it away.  And I'ma punch you in the face until you stop biting me.
Pluto:  I like you so much I'm getting kind of drippy.
Me:  Okay, you know what?  I'm gonna email the vet to see if you have a UTI or if you are just unnaturally attracted to me.

(I email the vet from my phone.  Tara opines that Pluto REALLY likes me.)

Pluto:  Still not gonna stand still so you can get on.
Me:  Okay, fine.  No riding tonight.  I have a policy against riding when you're a dink anyway.
Pluto:  You ain't seen nothing yet.

(he finally puts it away.)

Pluto:  HEY!  There is something intensely fascinating in the dark corner of the arena!  I'm going to stare at the cemetery until I figure it out.
Me:  Try not to knock me down, dude.  Also, I see nothing.  My flashlight sees nothing.  I hear nothing.
Pluto:  HOLY SHIT IT'S A GHOST!  RUN!
Me:  You have got to be kidding me.

Timber, at the other end of the arena:  I say.. is something happening over there?

Me:  Let me put a leash on this horse so Tara can ride.
Pluto:  HOLY CROAKING SHIT WE ARE GOING TO DIE.

Timber:  I am mildly concerned.
Tara:  I'm just going to get up and ride for a little bit.
Timber:  Concern level rising!
Tara:  You know what?  I'm just going to get back down now.

Pluto:  Let's go stand at the other end of the arena.  Where the lights are.
Me:  Sure.  How about you go back on the longe?
Pluto:  I am not leaving your side.  Are you kidding me?
Me:  SIGH.  I guess I'm just grateful you're keeping it holstered now.

Tara:  I believe I'll put Timber on the longe, over here in the scary corner by the cemetery.

(Timber spooks so hard he goes down to his knees, the leaps up to his feet again.)

Me:  Good night not to be on a horse.  Also, the walk home, past THE CEMETERY, should be fun.  Not.
Tara:  Trade horses with me.  Timber will not run away with you, and I can handle Pluto.
Me:  Deal.

(We have an uneventful walk back, under the beautiful full moon.)

Pluto:  Well, that was fun.  Could I have some cookies please?
Me:  Are you kidding me with this?

My vet:  Call me tomorrow.
Me:  (Sigh.. it's unnatural attraction, isn't it?  And split personality disorder.)

In which I continue obsessing

Oy.  Long day.  Ate lunch at the desk, didn't get out to Celebrate Work day, didn't even know it had rained.  JD made a delicious if ill tempered dinner, and then I drove out to meet Tara.  She had forgotten she was going to ride Pluto, but it didn't matter because he had gone temporarily insane.  And then I came home and did dishes.

Now getting ready for the Trail Dames Summit this weekend - packing and whatnot.  And trying to think not too hard about my MRI tomorrow morning.

In between other activities I'm trying to continue with planning for my trip to Maine.  Since I'm going to be gone this weekend and Mom Forinash is arriving next week, this includes getting all my camping gear off the guest bed, which I STILL haven't done.  And Mom, I'm sorry but when you and JD are off visiting Grandma Forinash, I'm going to have to go in there because I will still have to sort out some stuff that isn't going to get done before then.

I'm at least getting a grip on what I need to pack for food and maildrops.  I emailed White House Landing because I had heard a rumor that their place was up for sale.  But they say they are open for business this year and they'll have a burger waiting for me.  :)

I realize I'm the only person in the world, at this point, who cares anymore, but I'm still going to write up a gear list.

Gregory Jade 50 backpack
blaze orange pack cover  (if anybody shoots me, it will be on purpose)
Hello Kitty emblazoned hiking poles
fanny pack that Madeline gave me for snacks and stuff
Montbell 30 degree bag (maybe, maybe a different one)
Neoair sleeping pad
Lightheart Awning tent (with no awning pole for the 100 Mile Wilderness), plus stakes
Tyvek groundsheet
trowel
picaridin based bug juice
mesh head net
tiny swiss army knife
glasses in plastic case
cookset - teapot, alcohol stove, wind screen, lighter, wool mitten / pot grabber, long handled spoon, maybe a mug, denatured alcohol
steripen plus extra batteries or gravity filter
backup iodine
plastic scooping cup
platypus hoser 2 liter bag
nalgene or gatorade bottle, depending on steripen vs gravity filter
silnylon water bag
several bandanas / pieces of camping towel
closed side crocs
trash compactor bag pack liner
iphone, headphones, appropriately sized zipper bags
iphone external batteries
long sleeved shirt and long pants to wear, treated with permethrin
one of my pairs of trail runners, plus dirty girl gaiters
ball cap
buff
raincoat
rain skirt
maybe rainpants for mosquito protection
three pair wright socks, treated with permethrin
capilene 1 long sleeve, for in camp
my trusty plaid pajama bottoms, for in camp
wool socks, for in camp
powerstretch fleece top
my Rockdancer fleece hat
powerstretch fleece glove liners
synthetic insulated vest
rope plus rope bag for hanging food
a variety of stuffsacks, none of which are waterproof anymore
my trusty headlamp
sunscreen.  always sunscreen.
many ziplocks
some first aid stuff
small unbreakable mirror
maps
AWOL guide pages
toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, eyedrops, earplugs, biteguard
misc repair kit
some wet ones
my keeper
cash
ID
credit and health cards
no intention of being productive for a month
probably more stuff than will actually fit in the damn backpack

AND A LOT OF FOOD