I cannot have caffeine. I know this. I know that I can have a little bit, once in a while. Say, real coffee every week or two. I know that if I have more than this, I become addicted and bad things start to happen. They happen subtly, at first. But eventually my body stops being subtle and tells me, very directly, that I have been bad.
I know this. I have been through this more than once. And yet, I keep going back to it. Do I feel invulnerable, once I've been away from it for a while? Do I forget? Am I just that stupid? Evidence points toward that last one.
I've had caffeinated beverages several times in the last few weeks. WELL over my limit. So, this morning, I acquired a migraine. And not the gentle, friendly migraines I've been having for the last few years. This was a full on feral migraine. It slapped me upside the head and called me names. It made the light too bright, the sounds too loud, and my stomach too unstable.
And those feral migraines are wily. It waited to strike until I had no migraine meds left at the office. I instead took advil and a cup of coffee, because when I do get the inevitable migraine, caffeine sometimes helps. And then I put on my sunglasses and my beach hat, and asked my office mates if we could turn off the lights.
When I got home I took my meds, and I'm gradually recovering. But the headache, like a hangover, is a reminder to me of things that I should not be doing.
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