It's been a while since we've had a Schnork update. I must say, the Schnork is starting to shape up. Once we pulled up everything resembling a carpet and layered the house with wee pads, we had no more accidents. Except that one.
She still doesn't come when called, or sit on command, or in fact do any other doglike obedient things. But she does sit when she wants your food. So there's that. And she does fetch the squirrel, repeatedly, until you would really like to be done throwing the squirrel now please but she is still trying to get you to take it from her.
Really our biggest problem right now is that Beauty has decided to ignore the existence of the Schnork, and thus mows her down every time she runs down the hallway. The Schnork is rightfully indignant and will undoubtedly sustain a rotator cuff injury soon. I mean, it's mayhem in the hallway. Beauty steps right ON the Schnork, or runs over the top of her, or sits on her, or beats her with her beefy Labrador tail. And then she tries to pretend that she doesn't know why I'm yelling at her.
Do you think it's like True Blood, when somebody in the pack has done something just too awful, like get a really bad geometrical haircut, and they abjure the person/wolf? Maybe Beauty has abjured the Schnork. Then she couldn't be held responsible for mowing her down several times a day, because she LITERALLY DOESN'T SEE HER. THE SCHNORK DOES NOT EXIST FOR HER. Stupid asymmetrical haircut.
In other Schnork news, she managed to use a tool today, kind of, and I'm having to revise my opinion of her intelligence upward. The sunroom is right behind my desk, and I realized I'd been hearing quite a lot of schnorking in there this morning so I turned to look. And I saw the Schnork standing on top of a cat scratching post type item. It's in the shape of an S, and it's pretty lightweight. She had pushed it across the room and then stood on the upmost curve of the S so she could try to lick the remainder of the cat food out of Andy's bowl, which was on a chair too high for her to reach. That's pretty ingenious for a dog, let alone a Schnork. My theory is that although she has a tiny brain, she isn't using much of it to control her body (because there's so little to control). So she has more brain than expected available for fiendish planning.
HA!!! didn't know there was a section called "fiendish planning brain".
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