Why I am seldom found in girl groups

One of my coworkers is moving on.  We had her going away luncheon today.  I'll miss her, but I'm excited for her.  She's leaving 12 years of commanding an instrument on a spacecraft to become a physician's assistant.  She said she was taking a 30 month program, which if you think about it is not a long time to have to take classes to go into any medical field.  Apparently physician's assistants are in great demand, so once she finishes her training she will have a lot of opportunities.  And better, she seems really thrilled about what she's going to be doing.  I wish her the best of luck and happiness, and I am sure she will make a *fantastic* medical professional.

While we were at the luncheon I spoke with some of the people sitting near to me about women's groups.  I've been asked several times to join formal or informal women's groups, both at work and for recreational activities.  This has never appealed to me.  I think it's because I don't feel disadvantaged.  That's kind of the point, right?  You support each other in a man's world?  But to me it always seemed more like a hen party, at least as described.  I have no real need or desire to segregate myself off from men.  I grew up nerdy, and I fit in with the male nerds just fine.  Perhaps if I had to struggle to get where I am?  But I really haven't.  And I'm not struggling now - I'm the lead sysadmin!  I'm not seeing the discrimination.

When you grow up smart and nerdy and white, it's pretty easy to slide into tech fields whether you're male or female.  I can't speak to the problems experienced by smart, nerdy non-white women.  Maybe one of them can chime in.  But for me, at least, all the work done by the generations before me meant that I had equal access to the same education offered to all the boy nerds in my area.  And I feel that I took good advantage of those opportunities.  I took a full schedule of advanced placement classes in high school, I worked summer internships in nerd areas, and I used my full ride scholarship to study physics.  It turned out that I am not that great at physics (compared to the super nerds) but I tried.

Really there aren't that many kids who are full on nerds, so those of us who show the signs are typically encouraged.  The world needs nerds.  Had I shown a talent for art perhaps it would have been a hard road for me, but a talent for math and science?  And some actual language skills?  Yeah, no hardship here.  And I feel that I've repaid the investment that society and schools made in me by becoming an actual productive adult nerd.  Hometown girl makes good.  I may not be as interested in the nerd community events as I might be (I have no desire to to give talks at conferences), but I'm out there every day fighting the good fight, trying to protect our nation's investment in science and technology. 

I'm rambling a bit.  I think the point I was trying to get to was despite the fact that I've never had any use for women's groups, I have finally thought of a reason why I should maybe participate.  And that's to help younger women who maybe don't feel as comfortable with their nerd nature as I did back in the day.  I can't empathize with them, but I could potentially help them.  How, I really don't know.  And nobody from any of these groups has ever said "We need your help."  Which is too bad, because that is a sure way to get my attention.  I'm a sucker for people who need help.

That's not to say I'm actually going to participate.  I'm still not a joiner.  I still have no desire to kaffeeklatch or bitch about how oppressed I am.  But if somebody showed me a real, concrete way in which my participation might help others, I might think about it.