Being homeless = :(

I didn't hit yoga tonight.  I felt a little too pitiful, with cramps and nausea.  A bean burrito and a couple of beers set me right.  (Go figure.)  And I've been doing extra yoga this week anyway.  Mostly because I had to. I got a freaky pain in one arm that (according to Marsha) is likely due to a pinched nerve.  So I was stretching away, doing the towel under the neck thing, and not doing upper body work to avoid aggravating it.  And so far so good.  I had the opportunity to get adjusted today and skipped it, so I hope agonizing pain doesn't come back over the weekend.

I had been thinking about getting "my" thruhiker a flat rate box in which to send a care package, and today I finally got off my duff and did it.  I'll put it in the mail tomorrow.  I hope he likes it!  The care packages I got last year were a huge big deal to me.  Out on the trail, you spend so much time alone that any contact with somebody who actually cares is enormous.  So, Goose, I hope you like it as much as I liked mine last year.  If not, spread the wealth.

I was thinking today about thruhiking (as one does.)  It's very hard on the body, of course.  One day of hiking is no big deal.  One week of hiking is a lot.  One month of hiking starts to turn you into a hiking machine.  Three months of hiking starts to see serious wear and tear on your joints, your skin, and your equipment.  Many thruhikes have been ended prematurely due to ACL tears, broken ankles, giardia, Lyme disease, and other afflictions common to those getting physical in the great outdoors.

I think, though, that the biggest strain of thruhiking is emotional.  Very few hikers have a partner the whole way.  Those who do, may not actually *like* their partner the whole way.  Spending 24x7 with someone doing something strenuous is pretty stressful.  When the reason you are doing it is internal, and you may have different reasons for doing it, conflicts can arise.  I want to take time off to rest and heal, and you want to push your physical limits.  I want to get to the shelter 20 miles away, and you want to stay in this pretty glen.  I need to be done by September 15 and you need to be done by October 11.  Hiking with somebody else is tricky.

So a lot of people end up hiking alone.  Not ALONE alone, there are still people out there.  But with no constant companion.  That can be a very lonely thing.  Most of us are used to having a home.  Being set adrift is alienating.  It leaves you feeling lonely and at a loss, for no readily definable reason.  Sometimes you just want to see someone and have them already know your name.

Home doesn't have to be much.  It can range from a full on mansion to a townhouse to an apartment to a trailer.  It doesn't matter.  Everybody knows what home feels like, and it's a good thing.  "Coming home" every night to a place where you feel you belong is such a subtle and accepted thing that I doubt you ever think about it until you don't have a home anymore.  It can be freeing.  But it means that you never get the feeling of safety and security every night that most people take for granted.

Not all hikers are truly homeless, of course.  I had a home to go to.. I just wasn't anywhere near it.  My tent or my spot on the shelter floor was my home every night.  I got used to it, but it definitely did not leave me feeling as safe and warm and welcome as coming to my house every night.  I woke up when coyotes howled, when trees creaked, when thunder rumbled.  When I was camped with friends I got a fleeting sense of security from the mass of humanity around me.  Even one hiker (Cody!  Miss you!) was enough.  But I spent a great deal of time alone on my hike, and it was hard.  I had no idea how hard it would be until I did it.  It wasn't enough to make me quit, but I did recognize the strain.

I know I will encounter this feeling again.  And I know there are thruhikers out there right now experiencing it.  Keep it up, my friends.  It is not a comfortable feeling.  But it is worth it to experience it.  It may make you more appreciative of friends and family.  It may help you reach out to strangers with a smile and a kind word.  It may help you appreciate humanity.