My cat's as skittish as a horse. Fortunately, I know what to do with those.

Of our three kittens, two have settled in well.  Dory and Olli have no problem getting underfoot, jumping in my lap, or abusing my curtains.  Nazca, however, is still uncertain.  Dealing with him is very much like dealing with a skittish horse, and I have started using some of my skittish-horse-training tools with him.

There are good reasons to be cautious with a skittish horse or a scared cat.  Either one may hurt you badly if you push the matter.  Horses can bite, kick, stomp, or otherwise crush you.  Cats can only bite and scratch (although I did used to have one who would also punch with a closed fist) but those bites and scratches can be very nasty indeed.

If you want to end up with a happy animal, and you also want to keep all your skin and bones intact, you have to be very, very careful.  If you are so butch that your own health and safety aren't an issue, you will still end up with an unhappy horse or cat if you don't let them go at their own pace with you.  And what's the point of spending your life with an animal who is terrified of you? [1]

So, the tools in my chest are:
    Watching.  I very carefully watch my horse or cat.  If I take a step toward him and he tenses up, I stop immediately.  If he stays tense or leans away, I back up a little.  If he is calm and accepting, I take another slow step toward him.
   Being interesting.  I want the animal to want to come to me.  If they stay still for me to come up to them, that is good.  But far better is for the animal to choose to come to me.  So I take that first step or two toward him, and then I stop.  I may hold out my hand in a friendly gesture.  I may look away, developing an acute interest in something nearby.  Either action may entice.
   Having patience.  The watching and being interesting have to happen over and over.  Trust develops over time.  The cat or horse may come up to you the first time, but that doesn't mean they trust you.  It just means they trust you *right then*.  Long term trust is the result of many interactions during which the animal learns that you are trustworthy.

I am happy to report that Nazca is now comfortable enough to enter the living room when I am sitting down.  He'll hop up on my lap without encouragement.  He still doesn't feel safe enough to let me walk up to him.  But it's coming.  We have time.

[1] I am assuming you are not a freaky psychopath here, Internet.