Peeing: You know you do it, too

I sit before you today to talk about a very serious subject:  urination.

Everybody pees.  Humans are huge bags of water, constantly adjusting their fluid levels.  We are advised to drink at least two quarts of water a day.  Which means that unless you're planning to gain four pounds every day, you're going to be peeing OUT two quarts as well.  Exercise much?  You're probably drinking more, for multiple reasons.  Well hydrated muscles move more smoothly over each other.  Without more water, you cramp.  Without more water, toxins aren't smoothly moved out of your body.  So, more water!  But it's not sticking around.  You'll sweat some out, you'll cry some out (in lubricating tears if nothing else), you'll breathe some out.  But mostly?  You'll pee.

Okay, so I've pretty much established that peeing will be going on.  For everyone.  The men.  The women.  The children.  The puppies.  The frogs.  Everyone.

Why is peeing such a big deal?  We all breathe all the time, and that's okay.  There's no fine for breathing in public.  Even if you have bad breath.  Even if you have asthma and sound like a broken bellows.  Breathe as much as you want, pal, it's free.

But peeing?  Oh my goodness no!  That's private!  That's illegal, if anybody catches you!  Except that if you go in a public restroom, EVERYBODY knows what you're doing, can hear it, can smell it, can see you in the cracks around the stupid little door to your peeing cell.  You have to keep up the appearance of pretending to not know they know you're peeing, and they have to keep up the appearance of pretending not to know you're peeing.

You may wonder why this is on my mind.  Well, I'll tell you.

There is a class of people who, through the kindness of their hearts, will let hikers camp for free on their property.  For which, thank you.  We often need a place to stay, as we are a little bit or a lot homeless while hiking, depending.  But kind people, you forget that we are functional people!  You deny access to modern plumbing!  And then you get upset when people pee outdoors!

We are people just like you!  WE ALSO PEE!  It bugs me every time I hear that hikers are no longer welcome because one of them was spotted peeing somewhere.  What did people think would happen?  Did they think the hikers would somehow be able to hold it for the 36 hours they were spending in town?  For even 6 hours in town, if it involved a meal and adding a soda to that bag-of-liquids body?

Blind.  Or stupid.  But probably blind.

Anyway.  I gotta go.  For some reason I need to pee now.